Camping. You either love it or you hate it. I’m one of those weirdos who grew up with a love for tent camping. I loved spending hours deciding which poles went into which pieces of floppy tent walls, sleeping on the ground, freezing my butt off at 3 am, grilling hot dogs on a stick, and my favorite part…smelling like a campfire. They really should bottle that stuff. Maybe I would wash my hair more. Now, at 34, I have left my love for tent camping behind because one night spent sleeping on the hard ground means hip pain and being unable to walk straight for a week. I still love everything else about camping, so when I had kids I couldn’t wait to take them on their first outdoor adventure. As a reminder, my little ones are about to turn 2 and 4 so they both walk solo, they can feed themselves, communicate basic needs, and only one is still in diapers. I figured this was an appropriate age to get the ball rolling. Are you chuckling to yourself yet? Because soon you will be. Let me just share with you the top 3 things I learned about taking toddlers camping.

#1: Sleeping, regardless of your RV size is MIS-ER-ABLE.

If your kids are the kind who just curl up with their blanky on any surface and snooze away peacefully, then I secretly hate you and you can stop reading now. Seriously though, I actually have two kids who are decent sleepers and it was still miserable at night on our trip. The problem is, my kids are used to sleeping in their bed, which is far away from our room. Like, enough distance to where my husband and I can actually have a conversation at a normal voice level and they won’t hear us. Not in an RV. In an RV, everyone is nice and cozy on cots, double beds, or tables that turn into beds. Everyone is also 3.2 feet away from each other and if your kids have as much energy as mine, they will see all those sleeping areas as nothing other than their own private trampoline playhouse. Our nighttime story went a little like this…

We fed the kids, got them in their pj’s, brushed their teeth, and then excitedly proclaimed it was time for bed! In my head, I was thinking a few stories, some songs, prayers, and some kisses. Then they’d be snoozing away and hubby and I could sit outside by the fire and have a beer. Yeah no. Instead, it was complete chaos. Tears, screaming, requests to sleep on the top bunk, meltdowns over where their sippy cup was, then needing their 14th drink of water before bed, about 3 trips to the RV bathroom because they like the sound it made when it flushed, and endless questions about where our dog Bella was. At one point, I finally got them to lie still, one kid tucked under each one of my arms. Let me remind you that because of the downhill slant of our RV (you’ll read more about that later), we had to have them sleep in the opposite direction so that they would not roll off the bed. This took the mattress from 5 feet to about 3 ½. I had to prop my legs up on the counter across from me since the bed ended right about where my thighs started. I sang every nursery rhyme I have ever known, and by about the 12th go around of, “You Are My Sunshine”, I recognized the faint sound of heavy breathing. I slowly tried to slide one arm out from underneath Mack and was immediately met with “Mama! Mama!” and then an iron fist on my shirt. Repeat that whole process you just read for about 2 hours before they finally fell asleep and I pretty much had to become a ninja to get out of that bed. By then it was midnight and we were so exhausted we called it a night. I’ll give you two guesses as to how long those little humans lasted in their own bed with us being 3 feet away and I’ll give you one guess as to who they wanted to sleep on top of. No. Not next to, on TOP of. Before we knew it, it was 5:45 am and they were up, ready to rock and roll.    

#2: Always bring a DVD.

When we picked up the RV from the rental place, I saw that it came with a beautiful new flat screen TV and DVD player. In my head I immediately told myself, “No. We are not bringing any technology to distract our kids. We are going to enjoy nature and enjoy each other.” As we finished packing and headed out the door, my eye caught the pile of DVD’s sitting on G’s dresser. I considered grabbing one, “just in case.” But again, I ignored that little voice and reminded myself that if we didn’t have the DVD with us, we didn’t have the option to use it. Listen to me very carefully. I am an idiot. Bring. The. DVD. Our kids spent 99.9% of their time running wild through the tick infected grass, playing in the dirt, collecting rocks (Mackinley of course was eating them), building forts on the beach, and stomping in puddles. But when you need them to sit for 3 seconds inside the RV while you get dinner ready or you are gently trying to bring them from a level 47 to a nighttime level 6, you’re going to need a distraction. No cell service in the woods meant no access to anything and this genius spent the entire night kicking herself for not grabbing Blaze and the Monster Machine on her way out. Again, if your kids will sit quietly while you make dinner on a 2 foot stove, we probably can’t be friends. 

#3: Prepare to argue with your spouse…so bring beer.

The best part about this one is that several friends TOLD us this before we left. When we asked for pointers on taking toddlers camping, a large majority of them explicitly said, “You will argue with your spouse so just anticipate that before you even leave the house.” Ryan and I had a conversation about staying relaxed and letting this be about the kids and their experience and vowed not to argue. Yeah, that lasted until about dinner time. Which was approximately 3 hours after we arrived. What did we argue about?

1. Ryan forgot to bring wood to balance the RV so we spent the entire time with half the RV at a significant decline.
2. Trying to keep the RV reasonably clean. It won’t happen so just don’t even try.
3. Remember my first lesson about sleeping? Yeah. If you’re a mom then you know that when it comes to the nighttime meltdowns and the need to be a human pillow, you are their number one choice for comfort. Waking up at 5am with a stiff neck, sweating because I have about 53 pounds crushing my chest, and then glancing over to see Ryan snoozing away in all his free space made me just a wee bit grumpy.
4. Where and how to fill the tanks up with drinkable water.
5. Who forgot to bring a cutting board.
6. Whether or not to allow Mack to jump from the couch to the bed or let natural selection teach her what it feels like when you fall between the two.
7. Why only 2 pairs of socks were packed for each kid.
8. Whose idea it was to come to the coast when the forecast said it would rain. The entire time.

Overall, it was actually a pretty decent trial run. Yes I said trial run. We originally planned to stay two nights but after night #1, and a great full day at the beach, we decided we did what we set out to do and wanted to leave on a high note. In case no one has ever told you, unpacking and cleaning an RV takes longer than your entire trip from start to finish, so better to get a headstart on that as well. Will there be a next time? Yes, we plan to try again in July. But next time we will believe the forecast, plan to bring friends for the kids to play with, bring 20 pairs of socks, and buy dramamine. Oh, and bring a freaking DVD.