This morning I woke up and went to the gym. And I loved it. Are you shocked? If you’ve followed this blog from the beginning then you know that I profoundly dislike the gym. Or, at least I used to. If you are a new reader, click here and catch up on some of my old feelings about exercise. It will help you realize the huge revelation I have come to in the last few months.

You see, I used to think that if I ate well, I didn’t have to go to the gym. Or if I went to the gym regularly, then I could stuff my face with super sized value meals from McDonald’s. Oh, because of course I ordered it with a Diet Coke, thereby making it substantially more healthy. The problem with this way of thinking is…well, there are many problems with this way of thinking. And unless you’re blessed with the ability to only do one of those things, you can’t have one without the other. But I think I have finally found a balance. And it all started with a Facebook ad.

You might think Facebook ads are annoying but I personally love them. Especially when the internet gets super creepy and uses all my past google searches to flood my Facebook page with ads for the exact item I have been searching for. #bigbrothermuch

Anyways, a few months ago, one of the ads that came up was for a gym called Fit Body Bootcamp, a form of afterburn interval training with locations all over the U.S. I clicked, I read, I watched the video, and just like those pop-ups for that cute off the shoulder dress I love from Nordstrom’s, I was hooked. There was a six week bootcamp challenge at a discounted price and I thought to myself, “If it’s a competition, I will go, and I will win”. Maybe that’s the old athlete in me still struggling with coming to the realization that those collegiate volleyball days are over, or maybe it was just the fat in my gut crying to be melted way. Whatever it was, I was in.

I’ll spare you all the details of my weigh in and measurements, after which I cried over a giant burger from 5 Guys and swore that I would never eat one again. I was only 16 pounds away from my DELIVERY weight with my last child and she weighed 9 pounds. So, that was depressing. The burger made me feel better for about 10 minutes and then I was miserable for the next 4 hours. But I was used to that routine and I knew that something had to change. I even took a picture of that burger, the picture that is featured as the cover photo for this post because I swore I’d never be back in that place again.

My first workout started ironically, on a Monday.

Everyone is different, but Fit Body works for me because it’s quick, everyday is a different interval routine, and there’s a ton of motivation. It’s basically like having the perks of a personal trainer and a cheering squad all combined in one class. I’ve made friends and finally feel like I fit into this community I used to avoid because of a fear that everyone is watching and poking fun. There is definitely no poking fun at Fit Body. You’re so exhausted from whatever station you’re at that you could care less how others around you are doing.

Now if you’re thinking this is going to be a heroic story where I lost 50 pounds and I am now competing in bikini competitions…you’re going to be disappointed. This girl won’t be in a bikini until someone magically makes the skin on my stomach not look like it’s been pulled through a pasta maker over and over. But that isn’t my goal. I’m ok with letting go of teeny tiny swimsuits and crop tops and trade them in for simply feeling healthy. But that took a while because in the beginning, I failed. A lot. I started off with the belief that I could work out and still eat processed crap. That didn’t get me far. I didn’t win the challenge. I didn’t even get in the top three (although I did have the highest plank time increase). I ate that 5 Guys burger more than once after that photo was taken and to be honest, I completely forgot about that photo until I started writing.

But what started out as a competitive drive to win a competition and then ditch the gym with my trophy in hand after 6 weeks, turned into caring less about where I placed and actually falling in love with this whole workout thing. Once I finally felt comfortable with the gym part, I began to tackle the food part, which is what led me back to the Whole30 and the two combined are finally starting to pay off. I have a very long road ahead and I’m sure I’ll hit bumps along the way in the form of tacos or burgers, but for the first time in a long time, I finally feel like I have a hold on both at the same time. Yes, I have lost weight. No, I am not an expert. But it isn’t about the number or being a health guru, as much as it is about listening to how my body feels when I eat certain things and how it feels when I am active vs. not moving enough.

Regardless of how many times I go to Fit Body a week, the workouts never, and I mean never, get easy. Every day, there is a new sore muscle…yet somehow I love it. I mean during the actual workout I am crying on the inside, but after, I feel amazing. And accomplished. But don’t worry. Everything in moderation. So that 80-20 lifestyle of eating will definitely allow for some J in the B posts in the future. I mean, you didn’t think I’d give them up forever right?