A few months ago, one of my squad members asked me to do her daughter’s hair and makeup for our local beauty pageant, Miss Kings County. Disclaimer. I know nothing about beauty pageants. But…

I love hair and make-up. When I was pregnant with G, I used to stay up late watching YouTube videos made by girls half my age who, with makeup on, looked twice their age and knew infinitely more about beauty products than I ever did in high school or college. For me, there’s something magical about a great makeup day. Maybe it’s because, for five minutes, I feel like I’m not the stay at home mom in yoga pants who can’t remember the last time she washed her hair. I have zero formal training but my mad Youtube viewing skills have taught me enough to be trusted by close friends and family who need a little spiffing up before a wedding or social event. I went through a long phase where prom night, for the one high school in our town, meant a full day of updos and fake lashes. Those days have slowed down but I enjoy being asked on special occasions.   

But back to the story. So when I was asked if I could do pageant hair and makeup, I thought to myself, “Is there a difference?” Then flashes of watching Ms. America as a child ran through my mind and I was paralyzed with panic. Prom I can do. What’s the worst that can happen there? Maybe another girl with the same dress, blisters from heels that are too high, or an awkward picture? But this…what if I screwed up royally?! I mean, what’s the weighted percentage of curls and the right shade of  lipstick? I adore Jill and wanted her to feel amazing walking across the stage and performing in front of a crowd of several hundred.

Alas, my fears were unfounded because the feel was less high fashion catwalk and much more natural. The pageant really embraced showcasing these girls for what they were…young, talented, brave, and confident young women. Each contestant represented a personal platform unique to their passion ranging from teen depression to providing positive role models for young girls. Jill competed in the Outstanding Teen division and I was amazed at the poise and grace of these girls, all of which were under 18. It takes of a lot of courage to not only get on stage, but answer unscripted questions about politics, social media influences, global issues, and stereotypes. The cliche misconception that beauty pageant participants resemble an episode from Toddlers and Tiaras is far from reality. These girls are academic scholars, community service representatives, public speakers, positive role models and each possess a unique talent that showcases their strengths. Jill’s jazz number to an adorable Meghan Trainor song was proof of years of long nights spent in the studio and weekends at competitions. Awards are not based on curls or lipstick; rather, scholarships are given to those who best represent the categories listed above. While yes, there is a “beauty” aspect to the judging, the overall feeling was that this is based more on poise and confidence as opposed to physical attributes.     

Even though I am a mom, my kids aren’t quite old enough to participate in activities that bring on the kind of nerves I had as I sat and watched Jill go through each event. My friend Jamie is a seasoned dance mom, so while she seemed calm and collected, I resembled something more like a neurotic aunt, screaming and clenching my fists in nervousness with each round. While I knew there could only be one winner, and of course I was biased, my heart thought about each of the girls and more so, their mamas. Each of us loves our own children more than anyone else on the planet and I can’t imagine the exhilaration, and the heartbreak, of a mom as she watches her daughter’s face when the pageant comes to a close. Hats off to you ladies for raising strong and beautiful young women. May they continue to be a positive change and a light in this world. I have this same hope for my own daughters in the future.    

And in the end, my girl won! So proud of you Jill!

Xoxo,

Meg